willpower

The unthinkable..

So we are all on this journey, constantly battling with ourselves against what to eat and what not to eat, how much exercise to take part in and punishing ourselves when we rest. We will usually get into a routine but as a student myself i find it very hard to keep on the straight and narrow when I am surrounded by people with metabolisms directly reflecting a racehorse and who like to drink frequently. Don’t get me wrong i love a good night out but once a week at most i’m a lot more conscious of eating healthy and being up early to workout which is a shame i guess when you look at it in the big scheme of things; some may say I’m “sacrificing my uni experience” but really its because i enjoy it. I’m know as the strong one and i want to keep it that way. 

Unfortuantely i am a secret eater, and i’m sure I’m not the only one. Day to day i keep in a routine, take note of my meals and wear a heart monitor when i work out however when i drink i eat and i eat A LOT. I take the opportunity to blame it on my drunk alter-ego and go for it. Luckily i don’t head to McDonalds like the majority of fellow pissheads but instead i raid my home cupboards for any for of carb. Bread, pasta, pitta, nutella, peanut butter all layered with a tonne of sauce and butter. Now there are 2 problems here, firstly i hate sauce and butter and would never eat them in any normal circumstance, secondly I’m a celiac and suffer from it very badly. This then leads on to the next day where my next excuse is..”oh I’m hungover” therefore i need lots of greasy food. Normally a normal human would stop at a full english or a bacon nutty, but for some reason i take the opportunity to eat all of these foods repeatedly throughout the day until i feel sick or i have to go to bed. 

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I don’t know if this is because i don’t allow my these on a regular basis so i want them more or if i really just have no will power but I’ve done it for as long as I can remember. This week has been particularly bad, although i have worked out everyday there is no way it could cancel out the amount of crap i have eaten/drunk in the past 48 hours. Infact its been Wednesday till Sunday. Poor effort. This has led to my decision to go on a 2 week detox starting from this very moment until February the 14th. No alcohol, no sugar, no carbs..sounds delicious doesn’t it. The unlucky thing is your mind has a power greater than anything else, i’ll look at myself daily and think “I hate myself but i’m not huge” and happily tuck into something revolting. This happens daily andy hat is why i make no proress. In summer i don’t crave food, i drink tanks of water and sweat pretty much 24/7 leading to a figure i am comfortable with my mid August. I said to myself after Summer 2013 i’m not going back to the old, fat me who couldn’t even get her belt onto the last hole. It took a lot of dedication to lose that weight and I can relate with anyone who feels like they are fighting a losing battle. This is why i am going to do this. Just 2 weeks to prove to myself i can do it!! Rumour has it if you can break a habit for 22 days then you no longer crave it. I have given up chocolate for over a month now and i’m still going strong. 

Come on a join me..do it for the: 

You got skinny or You look great or Wow she’s hot

but most importantly do it for yourself and to fit your clothes. I was sorting out my wardrobe today and my friend pointed out that i don’t wear half the stuff. Thats because i like to wear the stuff that fits me, baggy jumpers and comfy jeans. None of these tight leggings or crop jumpers. 

 

R ‘Thunder’ xo